UGHHHH people can be frustriating to a bunny >_<;; *bunny ear droop*. I'm really interested in religous studies ^-^ (all for reaching out and understanding the cultures that abound around us hehe) but sometimes living with persons who feel secluded or isolated in their religon to the point of rejection can be very hard to deal with O.o well for me atleast hehe ^^;. Hermm I suppose I'm not the best at reaching out to people >> but I try..sometimes >< usually fail *bunny ear droop* merm probably why I don't don't practice it so often O.o too mentally stressful *wiggles bunny toes* hehe. I tried to reach out to my roommate Mitch, who's been one of Jeffie's best friends since highschool (he's recently become exteremely involved with a sect of christianity). You see, Bloggy *picks bloggy up and places it on knee* Mister Mitch has pretty much always been christian fundamentally, although he's been adding extra things to and from it as he's progressed (his last stint was trying to say that drugs were given by god and therefore they should be used to expand your mind and spirituality). Did I mention Mitch is malleable? *bunny sigh* From my experience with him over the years, Mitch vocally advocates what he believes (I'd like to think its how he shows he cares) and tends to push these ideas on others (including but not regulated to me, and every other living thing he bumps into). He's kinda always been that way, it just depends on what he decides to believe. Its always been a stress to me and as such, I've kept my relationship with Mitch as an aquaintence instead of a friend >>. The thing is bloggy, Jeff and Mister Mitch are fighting @_@ because mister Mitch wants Jeff to be christian, and go to church and ...stop cursing all together ><; (which is hard to do, since jeffie curses as a part of his regular speech pattern O.o) He also wants him to either marry me, or never live with us again (since appearntly I'm some kind of whore of babelyon now, since "I'm not really planning on marrying Jeff" according to Mitch) SIIIII since I've been engaged to Jeff for around two years now, and we don't want to have a shammy wedding while he's still in college and we're not even living without roommates, that makes me a sinful evil bunny >< grrbles *Shudders at the sarcasim* Whoops sowry bloggy ^^, *reshifts bloggy on knee* Ehem, because of these wonderful pieces of information, living with Mister Mitch now...is blarggggg awefully annoying, especially since Mitch keeps leaving the apartment without his keys O.o so I get to be his personally bunny bell hop ><;;. Everyday its "Hey, Kim, are you going to be gone anytime soon?" in which case I answer "Erm Not quite sure, but I don't believe so" at which case he rushes out the door and tells me to "let me back in, I'm going out for awhile". SII because I want to be tied to my living room for an unaccounted amount of time because some boy can't take his keys with him ><. GRRBLES I like being nice but oyyy its hard to do that in Tampa O.o its hard to be nice at work, cause you get run over, and its hard to be nice at home, cause then you end up being the automatic door mat >_< *wiggles bunny ears*. OHS and I've been sicky- ick -__- work is probably mads at me since I took yesterday off and it was a closing shift @_@ Mewwww I had toooos, the day before that, I worked while sick and it made me have an icky headache and vomit combo for 4 hours after I got home O.o Noooooot healthy, nope nopers (I can't afford going to the emergancy room again ><;). BUTS I'm working today ^-^ and its a saturday closing shift, so hopefully I can make up for not being there yesterday (saturdays are le worst ><) hehehe. Hermm I'm still sicky, but its less now ^^ so I think I'll be okies, plus today I need to get my check >> heheeheh and its only a 4:30 to whenever they decide to let me leave >< shift (we're supposed to leave at 11:00pm, but we pretty much never do O.o). Oh welpers ^-^ I'm probably going to get another job anyways, so I can dream about leaving them all while I'm there MUAHAHAHHAHAHA, take that corporate! *shakes bunny fist* whooosh, I need to get out more ><; *wiggles bunny toes and puts bloggy down* Thats enough bunny storytheater for today ^-^ till next time.

Loveth, Kimichi the manical rabbit

Howdy bloggy ^-^ and happy new year! Although >> its already quite past hehehe ><;. I missed you *huggles it until bloggy chokes* Too bad I seem to come to you when I'm comtemplative O.o I should really try to cheer you up more often >< hehehehehehe. Things have been up, and down, and down down since I've last typed anything into you, I suppose I should catch up up, si? lol. WELLLPERS I've moved again, from le old apartment with my nice neighbors to a college-student stuffed receptical with a musty garbarge shoot filled with pizza boxes and a stairwell marked by bodily fluid decoupough. Not the best smelling of places O.o and definatly not the best for sound >>. My walls are quite paperlike >< specially since I can hear my many roomate's and their cellphone alarms from downstairs >_<;; oy vey lol. ^^ It's not so bad though, I suppose I've gotten used to it, since welpers, its not like I haven't lived in dirty places with noisy peoples before hehehehe *bunny ear droop* ^-^. I miss everybody >< and I wish things would have worked about better @_@; Its sad that anybody who wants to see me is forced to drive all the way here to do so >< erm since I still have yet to pocure a car....or a liscence eh..heheh..heh >> Driving in Tampa is not very good motivation O.o I can say that hehehehehehe >< *wiggles bunny nose*. Butttts I have been toying with the idea of learning again ^^;; hehe Now that I work regulary at le target, and have a loverly bank account of my own, I can schedule some time in to learn ^-^ and...not be such a scaredy bunneh still Oh ho ho ><;;. OOOOSH Jeff is now addicted to WoW Ehehehehehehe his geekousity has risen quite a bits =^-^= which is nifty since now I don't have to worry about him getting wasted at some casino and then wandering home >> He's right at home, on the compie.....alll the time O.o. Consequently, I've also started to think that finally having my own personal computer might be a spiffy idea hehehehehehe ><;;. Still adjusting to less aim time >> I haven't seen le vincent in FOREVER or le poogi pi >< le poos. I bought vincent's present awhile ago ^-^ I can't wait to give it to herrrrrr wheeeeee hehehe ^^ erm if I knew how to tell her I'd like to see her and find out with she's not busy without bothering her and ermm getting a ride there so I won't be such a bother anyways hehehehehehe eh ><;. Feeling soooo dissconnected O.o Its like I just don't know what to say anymore, to anyone, no matter how much I'd like to, how much I want to and how much I care ><. Hermm I suppose sometimes it feels like I'm shoving myself into someone's life thats already moved on, like a little bubble of sugary coated memories that I'm stuck in, but everyone else has popped. Thats natural, I know, moving on, branching out, moving forward, not pushing back, all relationships take effort. I went to Jacon again this year ^-^ it was spiffy, I went with my old bestie friend Kelli bellies ^^ I used to see Kelli bells ALLLL the times (cause she was my older sister stephie's friend >> I don't think she liked me very much at first though hehehe ^^;;) We used to go skating all together in a big massive clump of us, and le boys I knew, and therefore my sister knew..and dated oh ho ho. They were interesting times lol ^-^. I haven't been skating again with le kelli bellies but I have been enjoying her company and girlie talk, and creativeness (she's one of the most crafty-cute peoples I know ^-^). We've been sharing out sausage-filled stories of living with lots of icky mens and no ladies @_@ ehehehhe ><; (not that all penises are that bad but when you've lived with nothing but man fart jokes and perverted talk...you kinda miss eating too much ice cream, sampling fashion mags and the all importent girly conversation). Strangely enough, besides seeing the lovely miss kelli buttons ^^ I've made a new friendie friend named mikey (and Sweetie-Pea muahahahaha) He's a little Catholic schoolie boy hehehe and friend of kelli bells and timmers (kelli bells boyfriendish/manboy). He went to Jacon with us, and was my stand in dance partner since Jeff refused to dance with meh ><; (he came on saturday and was really tired from work >> not too tried to run around with his dunderguild people and be excited about the con with thems, but tired enough to not dance heheheeheh). I spent time with Jeffies on sunday though and it was pleasent ^-^ I bought him a nifty halo sword and showed him Ramune soda hehehehe *wiggles bunny ears*. Butties since I've met mike through jacon and spending time with kelli bells, we've written eachother and had nice talks ^-^ (he's a sensative boyman so we have longggggg girlish talks hehehehehe) He's a cutie pie ^-^. OOOOSSS Kelli bells and mes and possibly poogs have thought of making clothing ^-^. Welpers, mostly kells since she's the one who can sew hehehehehe but I like to help her figure out design ideas ^-^ I bought two tokyo pop lolita bibles >> since the japanese ones are impossible for me to read >< and I'm not paying that much to just look at pictures @_@. The tokyo ones arn't bad ^^ and they give lots of encouragement for lolitas that are just starting out which is nifty ^-^. Kelli bells has been figuring out the sewing patterns hehehehe >< I should learn to sew more OOOOSH and to use my wacom tablet and programs so I can send everybody my art of them...instead of having it laying around in my sketchie book hehehehe ><;;. Jeff has a working scanner now though ^-^ so I've been uploading and experimenting with digital inking and coloring images instead of just starting from scratch on my tablet >> hehehhee *wiggles bunny toes*. It's still all wonky and blotchy O.o and baddsss >< but its a start ^-^ hehe. Hopefully with more stern practicing I'll get ermm to adverage status? and put up some pictures ^-^; hehe. OOOOOOS I've been buying things online for the first time as of late toos ^-^ I even got a Mar Jour outfit off ebay from my favorite j-punk seller. Its sooo cutte and pink and frilly hehe Punk lolita is my favorite loli style along with Sweet loli of course hehehehe ^-^ I LOOOVEEEE the fashion *_* its so pretty and their version of england's punk movment is so much more what I've always wanted then what america has evolved it into over these past decades O.o. I don't wanna look like a scene queenie >< oh ho ho or like candy vomit O.o as much as I do like the 80's and all, I'm not all too interested in trapzsing around in day glo hehehe ><;. Merms although its all really expensive -_-; so I'll be purchasing slowly and adding to my wardrobe and then hopefully making some designs with kelli bells and poogs WHEEEE ^-^ I think there should be a nerdy cute loli style, similar to decora but with more loli elements like skirts, and lace, and more of a balanced focus on clothing and accessories ^-^. Speaking of such I should really sketch some more hehehehe I've got a nice page of doodly dress, top, and skirt ideas Ooooo and some JSK's (why they abbreviate jumber skirt with the k, I've no idea hehehe ><) *wiggles bunny ears*. Siiii siiis thats about what this bunny's been uppie to, and interested in *wiggles bunny nose* hehe ^^

Snuggles and loveth, Kimikins (the loli poof bun)

I surround myself with stuff....I just noticed that, mainly because I sit alone in my room too often and its cluttered appearence is finally getting to me. It looks like a rats nest...funny, they say your room reflects who you really are and how you feel. I suppose if my room was a reflection of me, I would be a tangled mess of art supplies, mangas, books, junk food, empty soda cans, bunches of dead roses, angel wings, fairy wings, vintage dresses from the 1970's 60's 80's...piles of powerdry glittery makeup that smells like candy, peeling old valentines, love letters, poems with little candy hearts glued on and burnt edges, a big swirling cesspool of creation and decay...thats what I would be. Maybe thats really what I am, creation and death...poetic isn't it? and highly hypocritical. I guess I just make no sense sometimes. Its like I'm too old but then again I'm too young, too old for silly games, too young for serious thoughts of marriage...but I do both anyway...No one ever guesses my age correctly..am I really that young? I suppose its something I'm trying to hold on to, this ageless innocence which may not be ignorence but hope for it not to be so, for it to be different, kinder, gentler. No one ever tells you when your grown up...until its too late and your acting younger then your supposed to. Its always "Your not old enough to do that yet" and suddenly "Your too old for that now". Its sad....I don't want to decay but I know its a neccisary process...maybe I just don't want to grow up, because growing up would mean letting go...letting go of what makes me ...me. I'm naturally youthful I suppose....happy and cheery and sweet to the point of tooth decay when I decide to be so... but then again I'm old, and cranky and forlorn like an old women too...theres no balance, no inbetween with me. I'm old and young and happy and sad and smart and silly, simple and complex. I'm one big walking talking contradiction...is that so bad? I haven't a clue...I feel like paper sometimes, like something that might just blow away in a breeze or catch fire during a hot dry day. Fragile, small, afraid....I've been called tiny, I've been told so many times I look like I might break...people caution eachother around me "be careful with kim! she's delicate, you'll snap her in half!" or "Don't jump on her like that, she'll shatter!" its so obvious I guess, to imagine me being like a little chipped tea cup sitting on the highest self just over the edge, where it might fall and break if you run too hard or shout too loud. Yes, I'm a little translucent piece of blown glass, thin and small and brittle...Sad, thats another thing people instantly notice about me...they all think I look so sad...I don't know if its just my face or my eyes or the way I hunch over like a creaky old man that makes them think this..or maybe I am sad but I'm just not aware of it. Theres plenty of things to be sad about I suppose....the world in general, my broken family, my broken heart, my lost friends, my insignificance to myself..Its funny really, because the second most heard thing about my looks other then how sad or how small I am is cuteness....Cute, they all say it so many times, why I'm not sure. I think its the way I act most of the time, like a little kid or maybe I really am cute physically although I rarely see myself as being so...Sometimes I wonder why I hear it, when I never feel it on the inside...I feel so...worthless but yet, people outside of me feel completely different. Do I give them something? to make them see me this way? I hope so...I would like to give back to everyone what their missing, because we're almost always missing something, weither its love or friendship or compassion or sympathy...Empathetic, sometimes I feel like I'm an empath..Extra sensative to peoples emotions..if somethings wrong I just feel it, not only as a recognized emotion but as if its effecting me too...Most of the time, I can't watch people in pain or embarressment because I feel it too much, I have to walk out of the room or shut my eyes...close my ears. Its too much sometimes, to be so sensative...when it seems there arn't nearly as many sensative people out there anymore..Are people caring more, or caring less? I can't tell...I feel....heavy and light and lost and found and like I belong and yet I dont' fit in...I feel tingly and thick but I know I'm smaller then what most clothing brands make as their smallest size....I feel....ugly, Yes ugly...in everyway...My art, my talents, my looks, my mind, my thoughts, my everything feels so ugly to me. Like it just doesn't fit and everythings wrong...so very wrong. I'm not talented enough, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not smart enough, I'm not kind enough....I'm not good enough, no, not good enough for me. But then again....I dont' think I ever will be...not to myself. Is it idiotic? to expect more then you can possibly ever become? or is it just the never ending quest for self improvement? and is that really such a bad thing? I'll never know, but I'll always wonder. That is for certian.